


Ten Facts You Didn't Know About David Cook

by bellairestrella



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: Angst, Consensual Infidelity, F/M, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-15
Updated: 2010-06-15
Packaged: 2020-01-11 08:53:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18427205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellairestrella/pseuds/bellairestrella
Summary: The moment David says "I want to sing with you," Cook finds himself unable to speak, and he has to look away from him in an attempt to reclaim his sanity (or whatever he has left of it).





	Ten Facts You Didn't Know About David Cook

**Author's Note:**

> The line "the more we change, the more we are the same" is taken from the fantastic song "Avalanche" by the equally fantastic David Cook. 
> 
> And the lines "So I'm leaving / See you in another life / Still I'm breathing our memories of our last July" are taken from the song "Tonight Is on Our Side" (which is also by Cook <3). 
> 
> I would like to thank the amazing **Lix** for not only betaing this at the last minute, but also for giving me such wonderful and helpful feedback. <33 If it hadn't been for her I never would have finished this. So many, many, many thanks to you, doll! You're the best.

One. Sometimes, if he is honest with himself, Cook wishes that he wasn’t the person everyone looked to for strength and solace, who always knew the right words to say, the right gestures to perform; he wishes even more that someone else would be his anchor instead. 

Then he meets David and realizes that maybe he isn’t the only one who needs to be saved.

Two. He learned to hate hospitals long ago. Learned to hate the sharp scent of antiseptic that seeped through his skin, the blinding display of white lab coats everywhere, the incessant sound of machines beeping away. What he hates more than anything else is the sight of Adam lying on a hospital bed ( _so quiet and unmoving_ ), attached to numerous wires and tubes and marked with so much tape that Cook can barely recognize him. Adam’s face looks so haggard and old, as if he’s exhausted just from _living_ , that Cook almost forgets how he appeared when he was cheerful (all bright eyes, bubbly laughter and gentle teasing).

Now he doesn’t know what he should hate more, the tumor or the fact that he can’t do _anything_ , that there’s no other option left except to let Adam go. 

And he can’t do that. He can’t. If he could, he’d take Adam’s place in a heartbeat and absorb all of his pain, save him in any possible way –

He closes his eyes and tries to forget he can’t be the brave one. Not this time.

Three. After Adam’s diagnosis Cook begins to dream of things he wouldn’t dare speak about ( _his worst fears, the stuff of nightmares_ ) in reality – the sound of blaring ambulance sirens, the sense of foreboding he gets upon seeing the door marked ‘Intensive-Care Unit,’ the sight of his father’s face crumpling in grief when the doctors tell his family the news he never wants to hear. When he wakes up gasping, and the numbing sense of relief he feels once he realizes that _it was all a dream_ starts to die away, he finds it impossible to go back to sleep. Instead he stays awake, watching as the darkness of night slowly lightens and the sun comes up over the horizon. 

After Adam’s passing Cook’s dreams begin to change and become things he doesn’t want to confront ( _dark, forbidden desires, the unspoken sins he tries not to commit_ ); the image of Adam’s pale face, so serene and still even in death, is replaced with the sight of a dazzling smile ( _so bright that it outshines the sun_ ), graceful hands and alluring hazel eyes. 

Cook doesn’t wake up from those dreams.

Four. “Sometimes I can’t believe you’re real,” he tells David the night of the finale (the time where everything begins and ends for the both of them).

“Um.” David gives him a bemused look. “Thanks?” This earns a laugh from Cook and David tries not to shiver at the sound of it.

“Trust me, Arch, it’s a compliment.” Cook says. “I guess it’s just hard for me to believe there are still some truly _good_ people in this world. You’re genuinely nice and kind and...so unlike anyone I’ve ever met.” He smiles softly and meets David’s eyes. “I think you're one of those few people who see beauty in everything and help everybody else see that same beauty in themselves.”

When a blush slowly appears on David’s face, Cook knows that he’s caught the hidden meaning behind the words. A few seconds pass and Cook looks at the floor, wishing he hadn’t divulged so much. 

“What are you talking – I don’t, no,” David begins to say weakly, but before he can say anything else, Cook shakes his head in mock disappointment at him and nudges him in the side. 

“Now’s not the time to be modest, Archuleta.” He smirks slightly. “You know I speak the truth.”

“Oh my heck, Cook. You’re too much,” David retorts, but he’s grinning widely, eyes crinkled at the corners. The sight of him at that moment, relaxed, glowing and _so alive_ , causes Cook’s breath to catch in his throat and renders him speechless for the first time in his life.

(Much later, when he envelops David in a hug, the right words at last come to Cook. And he pretends not to notice David’s slight tremble when he whispers “ _I love you_ ” in his ear.)

Five. It’s easy to tell his family, friends and the press that his thing with Kim is a perfect fairy tale romance, a nice break from the chaos. It’s even easier to tell himself that, even though he _knows_ , deep down, that his life is only a beautiful lie now. 

And Kim knows it too. So when she breaks up with him a few days before Christmas, he isn’t surprised at all. 

“You can’t give me your heart when someone already has it, David.” She shakes her head wearily. “You knew this long before I did.” 

He doesn’t even try to deny that. Still he says nothing. 

“I’m not going to make you choose between him and me.” 

Instantly he understands what she means and he closes his eyes in resignation. They don’t speak for a while.

After a couple of minutes pass, Cook opens his eyes and fixes them on Kim. “I can’t do that to him, Kim. Or you.” His voice is strangled. “I can’t hurt you both.”

Kim sighs. “Then what are you going to do? There’s no way I’m going to see you kill yourself like this. _No way_. Do you hear me, Mr. Cook?”

He chuckles at that. “Loud and clear, ma’am.” 

(They both recognize that there’s no point in trying to deny the truth in Kim’s words.)

“Good.” Her gaze softens. “Look, I’m not going to pretend that it’s easy for me to let you go, because it’s not. I want to be selfish and act like everything’s alright between us. I want us to be happy together. I _want_ to be the person who makes you happy. But...” Her voice becomes a whisper. “We both know that I’m not. I can’t – I can’t make you happy the same way Archie can, as much as I want to. There’s only one person who can bring _that_ smile to your face – you know, the one that causes everyone to forget their name – and it’s definitely not me.” She laughs hollowly. “It never was.”

“Kim,” he begins, but she waves a hand at him, silently telling him that there’s more to say. He nods and waits for her to continue. 

“And the funny thing is, I’m okay with that. I mean, while I hoped things would work out…” She shrugs. “It’s hard to miss the sexual tension between you guys,” she says wryly and bites back a chuckle at Cook’s rapidly reddening face. 

“We’re not –” he starts to say and stops when Kim raises an eyebrow at him.

(He’s never been good at lying to himself.)

“It’s okay,” She gives him a small smile. “Like I was saying – it’s easy to notice that you and Archie have this connection that is beyond words. It’s rare to see a bond like that – something so indefinable yet tangible. That makes it all the more beautiful, I think.” 

They fall into a comfortable silence.

“I’m sorry,” Cook whispers finally. “I wish that it could have been different, Kim. I really do. If I could –”

“Don’t finish that sentence if you know what’s good for you, sir,” Kim warns, and the two of them laugh.

“I’m still sorry,” he says softly once the last waves of their laughter die away.

“Don’t be.” She socks him lightly on the shoulder. “Now quit moping around and go get your man.” 

He flashes her a crooked grin. “As you wish, ma’am.”

When he leaves he doesn’t utter a goodbye.

“See you later,” he says instead.

Six. The moment David says “I want to sing with you,” Cook finds himself unable to speak, and he has to look away from him in an attempt to reclaim his sanity (or whatever he has left of it).

After he stops feeling as if the sky has crashed down upon him, Cook’s eyes seek David’s and he shakes his head slowly. “I can’t let you do that, Arch. I can take care – I’ll be fine.”

He’s surprised (and a bit disturbed) when a harsh laugh escapes David’s throat. It’s such an alien sound, ugly almost, coming from someone so beautifully perfect and unbelievably real. “Don’t, Cook,” David says lowly. “Don’t even think about it. It’s not going to work with me.” He continues, ignoring the stupefied expression on Cook’s face. “I meant what I said earlier. I want to sing A Daily AntheM with you."

Cook laughs slightly, both amused and amazed at how the man in front of him is no longer the shy, awkward boy he met during American Idol – yet in some ways he’s still the same sweet, enchanting person who always makes Cook lose his breath.

( _The more we change, the more we are the same._ )

“I –” Cook stops, at a loss for words. “I don’t even know what to _say_ , Archie. Just –” He swallows hard. “Thank you.” His voice is barely audible.

David only beams at him in answer, and Cook swears his heart stops at that moment. 

Seven. He can’t stop writing songs about David. It’s almost pathetic, he thinks cynically, how each one on the debut album relates to him in some way. All of the songs are a part of something larger – they connect together to create a tapestry, where everything comes full circle. And every thread tells a small part of the story – of _their_ story. 

He’s reminded of this fact when he talks to the _Ventura County Star_ about the album. “It has a ‘love amidst distance’ vibe,” he vaguely remembers saying. “At some point everyone loses love.”

Once the words escape his mouth, he has to bite his tongue to keep himself from snatching them back.

Eight. The entire time while he and David Hodges work on _Tonight Is on Our Side_ , he can’t stop thinking about the summer 2008 tour (the time where he felt both numb and alive); most of all the final concert in Tulsa and the ache he felt the minute David left his arms. 

The second he mentions _Tonight_ ’s lyrics during an interview with the _L.A. Times_ , he’s instantly bombarded with the memories of the last few minutes in Tulsa, of the reality they both knew they would split up, yet they still had that night –

( _So I’m leaving / See you in another life / Still I’m breathing our memories of our last July._ )

He allows himself to hope then.

Nine. Cook knows, more than anyone, not to get involved with married (or even engaged) women. If he goes down that road, there’s no way out – nobody will be able to save him. 

(Not even himself.)

Carrie Underwood was the sole exception to the rule. 

When he’s with her, he finds himself breaking his own rules time and time again. Pretty soon he even stops heeding his family and friends’ warnings. 

(And somehow he doesn’t care anymore.) 

“This is a bad idea,” he mutters into her hair. “We can’t do this. We _can’t_.” He’s careful to put the most stress on the last word. 

She sighs. “Yeah.” Then she smirks, a wicked glint appearing in her eyes. “Some rules were meant to be broken, yeah?” 

He laughs ruefully and meets her gaze. “Maybe,” he replies, and she lets out a bark of laughter at that. 

“You’re a fast learner,” she murmurs, and for a long time they’re silent, letting their hands and mouths speak for them instead. 

Ten. Cook’s knees almost buckle when he hears David’s melodic voice seamlessly joining in with the audience’s chanting and it’s the most glorious music he’s ever heard. 

Somehow he manages not to fall apart until the very end, when it’s only David, the band and the audience, singing his – and Adam’s – song. Then he lets himself fall to his knees, taking it all in; he sends a kiss up to the sky for Adam and he begins to breathe once more.

At that moment David glances his way, giving him a blissful smile, and all at once Cook starts to feel alive and whole again.


End file.
